sometimes i feel like an ape

i don't think it was like this the first two times i came to china. for the last four weeks i've been in remote nomad villages, and i feel like i am the one time left behind. old men and young boys stare. mothers and elderly women reach out and touch what must not be real. they stumble over themselves as they look in disbelief.

that's right, it's all about my arm hair. i am beginning to become insecure about how hairy i am. the other day i told the people that i was an animal, since they were all staring at me like one. i could understand the fascination with my beard--it is growing quite well, but may not be around for too much longer--but i am not that hairy on my arms. my conclusion is this, that i am just a highly evolved ape, one with more arm hair than those here and that i must get used to treatment as such. so, i guess since i am an animal that makes it okay to stare and walk up to pet me without ever saying a word.

in all honesty--i'll admit this on here--it makes me feel very odd. and a bit like a spectacle. i'll keep that in mind as i want to stare at people in the future.